Homophobic Uganda Parliamentarian Speaker Comes Out As Lesbian

Rebecca Kadaga, Uganda's Parliamentary Speaker, Accidentally Comes Out As Lesbian

Rebecca Kadaga, Uganda’s Parliamentary Speaker, Accidentally Comes Out As Lesbian

By repeatedly anticipating every step in the insidious “gay agenda”, Rebecca Kadaga has shown that she is secretly lesbian. She would not have so much uncanny insight into the enemy’s schemes if this were not the case. How else would she have known that donated computers were being used to recruit young people into the homosexual lifestyle?

She’ll probably deny that she is lesbian, which may be because of internalized homophobia. But the evidence is clear: she knows too much to not be lesbian. #RebeccaKadagaIsLesbian

One possible explanation for how Kadaga could eerily know so much about the gay agenda is supernatural revelation. I expect someone to propose that very soon, seeing as Uganda’s anti-gay stance is mostly religiously motivated. The problem with this explanation is that anyone and everyone can say “God” has commanded that any John Doe be killed. Surely, “God” would do more than just whisper in someone’s imagination, if he were that serious about it? If “God” can whisper into anyone’s ears without accompanying signs and wonders, then communication from “God” becomes meaningless. Does anybody remember the Salem Witch Trials? If God hates gays, he must be more organized about getting them killed. The explanation for Kadaga’s knowledge of the gay agenda is that she is one of its defectors, using her anti-gay words to make sure that nobody ever suspects that she is or ever was one of “them”.

But she was, is, and always will be.


I did a search on the internet for whether Kadaga is married with children or not. That, after all, is the mark of “real” heterosexual womanhood. I found nothing, except, ironically, posts by other internet users who also wondered the same thing. Even if she were married, many people marry opposite-sex partners in spite of their same-sex attractions. So, she’s lesbian.


In view of the human rights’ atrocities she has encouraged towards the gay and lesbian community, I can upon them to, at this time, embrace her and not hold against her the weight of her misguided words and actions. Wherever she is mentioned and on whatever social media she has, I call upon the LGBTI Community to post messages of acceptance towards her as a sister in the cause of equality. I also call upon the heterosexual community to congratulate her on the courageous step of coming out, whether it was accidental or not. We must shower her with all the love and affirmation she needs at this tumultuous time of her life.


Oh, she might deny everything. But we’ve seen that she must be lesbian; why else would she be so obsessed with and knowledgable about gays? So we must embrace her and make her see that contrary to her sentiment, we would have the world a safe and wonderful place for her. Where she has said, “Kill the gays”, we must kill her with love.


It must be terrifying for her, living in a country whose poeple may want to “cure” or kill her; it must be worse, knowing that she played a role in making Uganda that kind of country and is now being haunted by her own karma. So we must just shower her with love, and be as vocal about her recent coming out as we can be. We must hail her as a gay rights’ icon, broadcasting her recent coming out as often as is possible until everyone in Uganda knows that she is lesbian, and that homosexuality, confirmed or not, is the only plausible explanation for why she knows so much. “This is a lie!” they’ll say. But it’s the only hypothesis that fits the evidence. It has too many anchor points not to be true.


Celebrating her coming out may endanger her life – but it’s so common for the Matthew Shepards and David Katos of this world to get killed because of such intolerance for being who they are. If, God forbid, something happpened to Kadaga because of the celebratory welcome she’ll get from the international LGBTI community, she, too, will just become another statistic; another victim of the hatred she promoted. The victim of a tragic misunderstanding. Which she had a hand in.


We must celebrate the fact that she is lesbian, and carry signs of support towards her during Pride marches. We must use her as the face of LGBTI inclusion, relentlessly naming her as one of us. The media may deny that she’s lesbian, as may she, as may the Ugandan government. But denial is normal in such situations. We love her anyway, and we will point out all the evidence and signs that she is lesbian.


Tell it it everyone in Uganda who would use her words as justification for hate crime: Kadaga is lesbian. Tell them that she’s been hiding this terrible secret, and making up lies about some made-up gay agenda revealing so many of the gay agenda’s secrets, because she herself is lesbian. Get the people to question her motives and understand the self-loathing beneath them.


And that’s perfectly okay for the rest of us. We never hated lesbians. She did. May the gods show her more mercy than she has shown others. At any rate, the cat’s out the bag. Twitter and Facebook gay allies, prepare to do your thing. Take your weapons. Aim. Place your finger on your mouse. And fire at will. Tell the world. #RebeccaKadagaIsLesbian



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